For real

I have a friend who occasionally does "For Real" days on her blog. When I awoke this morning I knew I was going to blog today. There has been something on my heart that isn't going away and I need to get it out there, unfortunately you're still going to have to wait because as my day has gone on it has taken a turn. More often than not I have good blog posts and then I never get around to sharing but today, today is different. I'm not going to share what I had intended, instead I'm going to share some "For Reals". I started my morning with a devotional, I stay on task with this for awhile and then I get off track, but for today at least I made the train. :) A friend suggested the book Jesus Calling at our first MOPS meeting and there was an app for that so that's what I'm reading right now. My emotional state has been FRAGILE to say the least since the end of our cycle. My emotions are crazy and even I am unprepared for them, so my hubby, well there is no way he can be prepared. I don't expect him to be. Typically in most situations I have become good at just completely shutting down so as not to show just how completely upset/sad/angry/emotionsIcan'tputintowords, whatever that I am. I am sure that most people think "What is her problem." but it's just how I am coping at this point. Anyway this morning something was said that would not ordinarily upset me but today the water works started and I had a hard time getting a grip. This was not a great start to the day and if it was any indication of what was ahead, I was not looking forward to the day. This was before 6:45 a.m. mind you. B woke up about 7 and insisted he wasn't going to Preschool today. Ummm yeah well this is only the 3rd or so week and mommy needed mommy time so he WAS going. I like to leave the house at 7:30 as drop off is 7:45-7:55, at 7:46 I was still dressing him. On the way to school I took a deep breath, it's preschool it's not the end of the world, yes we were a few minutes late but no one was harmed, no harsh tones were used, it WOULD be ok! I saw a friend on the way to school and waved really big, thinking to myself wow she has dropped off her kids and is heading to work, she has it all together. I've been up since 5:30, why am I STILL running late? Just as I pulled into the parking lot, said friend pulled in beside me. I didn't think much of it and waved again (I still don't know a lot of people in this town so I get REALLY excited when I see someone I do know.). I said something like "I'm glad we aren't the only ones running late today." She jumped out of her van (yes we're minivan moms) and said something about being in her jammies, and having to fill out tardy slips because the kids are older. I could tell her spirit was down. I should have waited around and prayed with her but instead I dropped my kiddo off and was on my way. Feeling guilty for not sticking around to encourage her I came home and prayed for her instead. You see I got to see a "For Real" side of her, that was SOOO encouraging to me! I have only ever seen the completely put together side of her and it was refreshing and encouraging to see another mom not having it all together. So friend THANK YOU for the "For Real" moment today. ;-) As I was picking B up, another mom was fretting about whether or not she was suppose to bring treats for her sons class during the testing they were doing. Again another mom who I perceive to have it together. I felt like God was saying see it's ok. Later on I wondered how many people only see my "together" side? A friend and I were talking and I said my house was trashed, totally neglected while we've been getting ready for a huge 10 day craft show. She said "Your house is awesome!" I sent pics to her when we got home just so she could see my "For Real" side. I totally don't have it all together and for any friends who have that impression, I want to encourage you to take a breath and realize we're all human, it's ok to not have it all together every.single.day! :). Don't let comparison steal your joy! This saying was on my heart as I thought about how I perceive these other mommas, comparing myself and beating myself up for "not having it all together". Tonight as I lay down, I'm vowing to my family and myself tomorrow I will not let comparison steal my joy! P.S. Here is one "for real" pic from today...